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Patreon is a relatively new way for artists to get ongoing support from those who appreciate us most. If you want to see me get extra-productive, sign up to support my music & writing for as little as $1/month, and I’ll lay a bunch of songs and words on ya. WE ALL WIN. Thanks!!

Photo: Julie Stanley

A song that’s kind of but also not about Star Wars. (Lyrics & credits below)

https://youtu.be/6-v8g_8lnfI

Words/music/art/sketch videos by Emily Yates
Performance video/audio recording & video editing by Sobokeh
Originally written for and performed at Tourettes Without Regrets, Oakland CA

Lyrics:
I wish I knew more about Star Wars than real wars
I wish I knew more about Jedi than drones
I wish I knew more about Obi Wan
Than about the civilians we’ve recently bombed
Oh I wish I knew more about Star Wars than real wars

When you mention the Force, you think Skywalker
I think of our air force exploding Iraq or Afghanistan
And I don’t know much about Star Wars
But I think we might be on the Dark Side

Oh I wish I knew more about Star Wars than class war
I wish I knew more about droids than gentrification
I wish I knew more about Luke and Leia
Than about a health-care plan that screws the single payer
Oh I wish I knew more about Star Wars than class war

When you mention the Empire you think Darth Vader
I think of our government shamelessly catering to the elite
And I don’t know much about Star Wars
But I think we might be the Empire

And I don’t mind if you’re a walking Wookieepedia
If you’ve got trivia dripping right off of your clothes
Just ask anybody in the media
These other wars have endless episodes

Oh I wish I knew more about Star Wars than drug war
I wish I knew more about clone attacks than crack
I wish I knew more about Kylo Ren
Than about marijuana growers stuck in the pen
Oh I wish I knew more about Star Wars than drug war

When you mention a smuggler you think Han Solo
I think of rich white boys smuggling blow, though
And getting away
And I don’t know much about Star Wars
No I don’t know much about Star Wars
Oh, truly I don’t know much about Star Wars
But I wish I knew less about real wars

First responders solve real problems. First-world responders solve first world problems.

Co-written with Jefferson Bergey, featuring Erik Yates on guitar and vocals for this performance (12/9, Point Richmond CA). Lyrics below the vid!

https://youtu.be/SUfadnTf8m0

We’re your first-world responders
We will pack your bowl
We will fetch more ice
When your drink is not so cold
As long as your problems
Are petty and small
We’re your first-world responders
We’re at your beck and call

I just can’t find a yoga outfit that fits
Reception on my cell phone sucks at this Ritz
My streaming movies aren’t loading
What is ‘buffer’?!?!
Don’t try to say I don’t know what it’s like to suffer

We’re your first-world responders
We will pack your bowl
We will fetch more ice
When your drink is not so cold
As long as your problems
Are petty and small
We’re your first-world responders
We’re at your beck and call

I can’t find parking in the Whole Foods parking lot
I just can’t take a decent nap on this yacht
Why do the waiters always have to be so rude
Each time I tell them I’m allergic to food

We’re your first-world responders
We will pack your bowl
We will fetch more ice
When your drink is not so cold
As long as your problems
Are petty and small
We’re your first-world responders
We’re at your beck and call

Where is the fire?
There is no fire
It only exists in your mind

We’re your first-world responders
We will pack your bowl
We will fetch more ice
When your drink is not so cold
As long as your problems
Are petty and small
We’re your first-world responders
We’re at your beck and call

What can I say? He just inspires me.

https://youtu.be/urvcQmLt3nw

Looking forward to these shows – click on the image for more info!

Click the image/text or copy & paste the link below to hear me talk and sing my opinions on This Damn World, a San Francisco-based podcast with one of my favorite mottos: Be Fuckin Better.

This Damn World Episode #108 – Try Not To Be A Dick

http://thisdamnworld.com/podcast-download/1741/1741.mp3

IT’S HERE! Ever since I released Folk In Your Face, I’ve been wanting to make a video for “I’d Rather Be High (Than An Asshole)” and now here it finally is – directed by Jamie DeWolf, featuring some of my favorite Bay Area performers! I wrote this song because not only did marijuana help me quit smoking cigarettes after I got out of the military, it also helped me deal with PTSD and generally be less of an asshole. Video & track credits below. Get the song here!

https://youtu.be/CS6p-l3WNdM

Two years ago today, I was standing trial in Philadelphia, having being violently arrested and jailed by some adorable-looking park rangers near the Liberty Bell the summer before. I’d been waiting in the 90º shade to play my song “I’d Rather Be High (Than An Asshole)” at a marijuana legalization demonstration later in the afternoon. The rangers had aggressively taken me down after refusing to tell me the reason they were clearing the park, and I later found out it was because they were using that area to process the herb they’d seized from demonstrators. The deep irony of the arrest – that I’d been prevented from playing this song due to the rangers being assholes about a marijuana demonstration – inspired me to release this video today, on the second anniversary of my conviction. And hey, Californians will be voting tomorrow on cannabis legalization! WHAT A COINCIDENCE.

Shot by
Jamie DeWolf and Gabriel Hurley

Edited by
Adam Parmalee

Assistant Director
Sara Shea

Supporting Cast

Angry Commuter Man
Patrick Ohslund

Weed Fairies
Kaila Love
Laika Fox

Sexy Cops
Jesi Ringofire
Wonder Dave
Police Brutality Victim
Duke Bossman

Commuters
Emalee McNally
Scott Kimball
Carrie Jean Miller
Brenna Miller
Jaron Smith

Jesus
Jamie DeWolf

Song Credits

Lyrics & Music by Emily Yates

Ukulele/lead vocals
Emily Yates
Piano
Jordan Feinstein
Dobro
Erik Yates
Backup vocals
Melody Walker & Erik Yates

Tell your friends! All show details are here.

I decided to enter NPR Music’s Tiny Desk Contest again this year with a new tune called “Drugs Are Bad”  – let’s call it an ode to the double standard. If it brightens your day even a smidgen, feel free to brighten mine by taking a second to Like/share/comment on the YouTube. Thanks!

Copy/paste/click if the video doesn’t show up: https://youtu.be/d2z28SfNwxE

https://youtu.be/d2z28SfNwxE

Videography by Sheldon Edward Steere

Buy the song here and watch the video below! Keep on scrolling for lyrics and other info. Happy f’ing holidays, fellow weirdos!

https://youtu.be/LbpVxoS7Vak

Lyrics:
I don’t need a lot for Xmas
There is just one thing I want
I just want one single day when
People wouldn’t be such ¢unts
We don’t have to be a saint
Just stay off each other’s taint
And make the world less cruel
Just this Xmas, don’t be a tool …

Please don’t f@¢k with me this Xmas
I promise not to f@¢k with you
Peace on earth and brotherhood are well and good it’s true,
But let’s not sh*t ourselves – that’s more than most of us can do
So just please don’t f@¢k with me this Xmas

Please don’t f@¢k with me this Xmas
You’ve got the other 364
If you’ve got an issue, here’s a tissue, there’s the door
But don’t start sh*t today, that’s what New Year’s Eve is for
Oh just please don’t f@¢k with me this Xmas

Can’t be nice the whole year through
But for just one day, I won’t bother you
I’m not asking for world peace
Just for one damn day when you won’t f@¢k with me

Please don’t f@¢k with me this Xmas
I promise not to f@¢k with you
Peace on earth and brotherhood are well and good it’s true,
But let’s not sh*t ourselves – that’s more than most of us can do
So just please don’t f@¢k with me
I said don’t f@¢k with me
I wish you wouldn’t f@¢k with me
Motherf@¢ker, I said don’t f@¢k with me
Oh please don’t f@¢k with me this Xmas
Credits:
Released December 8, 2015
Emily Yates: vocals, ukulele, hand claps, jingle balls
Erik Yates: bass, hand claps

Video/audio produced/engineered by E. & E. Yates (Tiny Kitchen Records)
Videography by Sheldon Steere
Video editing by Emily Yates

Featuring Emily Yates, Erik Yates, Sheldon Steere, Jennifer, Caleb, Emalee, Jason, Jean, and a hula-hooping snowman

Special thanks to the Church of Chill, to Jamie DeWolf and the amazing people of Tourettes Without Regrets for putting me on stage and giving me the idea to make this video!