Author: emilyyatesmusic

April 3, 2015 – Room 5 Lounge, Los Angeles

Dedicated to removing the stigma that keeps homeless shelters in short supply of feminine hygiene products. #TheHomelessPeriod

Lyrics below (closed captions available)

About once a month, women have a friend visit
Some of us call her “Aunt Flo”
Even though she brings misery every time she comes to call
We’re expected to never ever mention her at all

She brings us sharps pains in our stomachs and backs
She’s been known to make quite a mess
Her timing’s less than comic, length of stay, we never know it
But if we feel like we’re dying, we will never ever show it

BRIDGE:
‘Cause the men never understand that it can be straining
To go about your daily work while your life force is draining
Straight out of your body, for three to five days
So it makes sense to men, when they say …

CHORUS:
“Shut up and shove some cotton up your twat!”
Did you think men were interested?
Well honey, they’re not
They think they’re so tough with those muscles they’ve got
But they’ve never shut up and shoved cotton up their twat

Some of the boys who hear me sing this song
May find this issue disgusting
But if it was them bleeding out of their dong
It would mostly likely be all that we’d be discussing

BRIDGE
CHORUS
REPEAT
DONATE SOME TAMPONS
EVERYBODY WINS

I just wrote this song a couple hours ago when I was feeling a little meh, and it made me feel happier, so I’m sharing it with you, all spontaneous-like.

Here are the lyrics:

That little voice comes whispering when no one is around
Saying what a mess you’ve made
You didn’t get to work on time, your car is broken down
You’re too exhausted to get laid

But don’t feel bad,
Don’t feel bad!
Don’t be afraid to give your back a pat, and say

Good job, Self!
You’re doing pretty well, you know
You didn’t let the world get you down today
Good work, Self!
No matter how you felt, you know
You kept that middle finger pointing down, today
You’re doing fine!

That little voice comes whispering when you’re feeling low
Saying what a mess you are
You didn’t plan your life out right, you don’t have much to show
For everything you’ve done so far

But don’t feel bad,
Don’t feel bad!
Don’t be afraid to give your back a pat, and say

Good job, Self!
You’re doing pretty well, you know
You didn’t let the world get you down today
Good work, Self!
No matter how you felt, you know
You kept that middle finger pointing down, today
You’re doing fine!

A tax day ditty for the warmongers. (With profound apologies for my amateur editing skills.) Lyrics below the video!

Well, my money and your war don’t get along well anymore
It seems they had a little falling out
My money just felt spent on their relationship
Told your war to pack its crap and get on out

CHORUS:
But your war won’t leave my money alone
It’s everywhere we go, on and on and on it drones
It clearly doesn’t know that no means no
No, your war won’t leave my money alone

My money and your war have tried to separate before
But your war still came around every day
My money wasn’t buying all those lines that it was trying
Told your war to shut its trap and go away

CHORUS

My money told your war, “I just can’t take this anymore,
I’ve gotta invest myself in different ways.
When I tell you I need space, you just get up in my face,
Now for the last damn time –
Take your drones, and your bombs, and your bases, and your combat troops, and your non-combat troops,
And go bother someone else’s money for a change.”

CHORUS

No, your war won’t leave my money
It just won’t leave my money
I wish it would leave my money ALONE!